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13 Things That Should Bug You About BuzzFeed

“Sites like BuzzFeed, to me, are like mentally binging on a bucket of KFC.” ~ Chris Goursky





13 Things About BuzzFeed That Bug Me:

1. I just don’t get what BuzzFeed is. Is it news? Is it entertainment? Newsertainment? Thus, we get a site with massive popularity which includes headlines like “U.S. Slaps Cold War Sanctions On Russia For Ukraine”, followed immediately by “A N.Y. Comic Came Home To Find His Airbnb Renters Hosting A “XXX Freak Fest

2. Which BuzzFeed reader are you? Augh! The quizzes! Littering my Facebook feed, making me spend three minutes to find out (and this is true) “Which Possible Illuminati Member” I am – I got Tupac Shakur, BTW.

3. I truly believe this is what taking heroin is like. I have never taken heroin, but if television, movies and literature are being accurate, the hours I spend not moving, staring blankly, retaining none of the information my brain is processing seems pretty close. Added to that is the rush, followed by complete blankness in my head. I know I have missed out on opportunities because I have spent hours viewing articles like “23 Photos of Jonathan Taylor Thomas Holding Things” (which, seriously, is on the site).

4. The absolutely useless information. “Is Anything More 1999 Than This S Club 7 Video?” Enough said.

5. This cannot be helping the World. Remember about ten years ago, when everyone was talking about Wikipedia? We all used to get caught in these information vines- learning about past cultures, people and events. We discovered aspects of science and geography we never knew before, all while bouncing from page to page. Now I know “Which Romantic Comedy Best Describes Your Actual Love Life”, and that Wayne Knight, Newman from Seinfeld, is not dead.

6. I will never admit to reading BuzzFeed. When it comes to discussions with friends about- well, anything, I have never (and probably will never) site BuzzFeed as a source of information. It is akin to saying “I learned history from a Hagar the Horrible cartoon”.

7. The lists! Why are they all random numbers? My favourite- “57 Reasons to Try Veganism” includes “So you’ll have something to talk about with Natalie Portman”. Nowhere does it mention “So all your friends can roll their eyes when you are in a restaurant, and you loudly complain about the fact there are no vegan options- instead of your friends thinking you are a hero for your life choice”.

8. I don’t want to know about celebrities, but I can’t help it. I never watched Veronica Mars. I do not plan to see the movie. I admit, the crowdfunding aspect of the movie being made is slightly intriguing to me, but there was also a petition on to extradite Justin Beiber back to Canada- getting a bunch of like-minded people together seems pretty easy these days. That being said, I read an entire article about the show, then followed it up with “21 Reasons Why Steve Carell Would Make The Perfect Road Trip Companion”.

9. The only thing I feel after reading BuzzFeed is, guilty. Why did I just spend an hour reading this dreck? Why do I keep doing this? I have to stop, but first I want to read about how wonderful Jennifer Lawrence is.

10. Seriously, why can’t I close this site? Wait, I just want to read this thing about Britney Spears songs.

11. There is only so much pop culture one person can take. Well, maybe, but this Britney Spears article is interesting. Wait, interesting isn’t the right word… mind-numbing is (see #3 for more).

12. In the spirit of BuzzFeed, I can’t finish on this number, because it is too common. Also, in the spirit of BuzzFeed, the two positions above this are sort of a waste.

13. I fear this is where the world is going. Did you read about that new app that allows you to read a book in 90 minutes? I got an email from a friend, but I didn’t have time to read it. I know the excuse; “there is SO much information on the internet, we need services to narrow it down for us”, and I agree with that. I write because of that. But honestly, the time I waste on lists and quizzes could be used actually finding important, relevant information pertaining to me, and the world I live in.

All This Buzz Feeding!

Hey – there’s nothing wrong with a bit of entertainment, right? Come on, you have to kick back and relax every once in a while. That’s true- but in a time when we are so conscious of proper eating and health (which BuzzFeed targets- with articles about vegetarianism, veganism), then why do we fill our heads with absolute junk food.

Now, news sites are following the BuzzFeed success. Huffington Post looks nothing like it did a year ago.

The news is still there, at the top tier of the page, but as soon as you drop down a few spots, you are welcomed to a world of side-boob and best dresses from awards shows. As we continue to accept popular culture over substance – and fluff over news – we will have no one to blame but ourselves, when those who already control the strings are able to do it with very little recourse.

As we ponder “15 Signs ‘LOST’ Changed Your Life” – instead of demanding accountability from those in power.

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