7 Reasons I Hate Neil (The Idiot I Work With): An Infogram
1. Neil’s Call of Duty Thing. Don’t ever ask Neil about Call of Duty. DON’T. There is something terrifying about his obsession with that game. Every flipping day it is “I was blowing up” this, and “I was doing something stupid by pressing four buttons, but in my mind it was real” that. Every flipping day!
2. That Whole Doctor Who Thing. I get it, Neil. We ALL get it. You like Doctor Who. It’s fine. We all used to like it, as well. But you ruined it Neil. You flipping ruined something as great as Doctor Who. But we can’t watch it now, Neil. So, thanks for that. Thanks for ruining Doctor Who.
3. Rachelle, Neil’s “fiancee”. BTW- you’re not engaged if there is no ring, and you haven’t even picked a date, or anything. And Rachelle, that whole act you do? That whole “refined” and “intelligent” thing? Exact opposite. And stop I.M’ing Neil, like, every three minutes. Seriously, are you reminding him to breathe?
4. Neil is SO Stupid, I Think His Girlfriend, Rachelle, Is I.M’ing Him Every Three Minutes To Make Sure He Is Breathing. OK, so here is every meeting I have ever been in with Neil: Boss- “So we need to create a system so all designers are aware of whatever is coming, trend-wise. What do you guys think? Neil?” Neil- “well… i think… uh… yeah… i think it’s uh…” and then all he does is repeat exactly what our boss just said- but it takes him three minutes to stammer his response.
5. The Magical Number of Times Neil Sniffs His Nose In An Hour: 23
6. Whatever You Are Eating… Stop! Seriously, what you do in the washroom… it’s not natural. You need to see a doctor, or something. I walked in there once, and I couldn’t eat for a week.
7. Neil, All You Do On Twitter Is Waste My Emotions. Neil- you re-post these absolutely stupid blogs about things that NOBODY cares about, and then you write something like “gives me a lot to think about”. REALLY!?! Neil, we all know you don’t actually read the articles you share. Flipping crap! I honestly believe you just post that stuff because you think some big executive type is going to hire you based on your tweets. “Wow, this fellow has an incredible amount of knowledge about such big thinking subjects! I should hire him.” Because Neil, you are obsessed with Call of Duty, dude! Your “fiancee” reminds you to breathe!