Are You There, God? It’s Me..Your Running Back.
“Fly to Fort Lauderdale, and await further instructions from me.” ~ (Football) Jesus to Adam Muema
In a story that continues to get weirder by the day, Adam “Jesus is my Head Coach” Muema reminded football and weird news fans alike why we should care about a guy who probably won’t get drafted last night when he sent out a tweet appearing to predict the end of the world.
If you’re just getting on board with the whole Muema soap opera, let me get you up to speed. After a solid, if unspectacular, career as a Running Back for San Diego State, Muema went to the scouting combine in Indianapolis last month predicted as a late round draft pick.
Then, everything fell apart.
Coached From Above?
Muema left the combine after being told by God, yes, the big man himself, that his future was already set in stone and he would be taking his talents to Seattle to play for the Seahawks. This isn’t that weird, I guess, as athletes are very often religious but when Muema disappeared, as in missing person disappeared, for three days, people started getting worried.
Finally Muema turned up, at the Fort Lauderdale airport, where he had apparently been hanging out for the past three days waiting for another sign from his Lord and Savior, and I’m assuming his lead blocker, Jesus Christ. His last message from Jesus was to fly to Fort Lauderdale and wait for further instructions, instructions that never came.
When Jesus forgot to call him back, Muema called his training partner, Oklahoma Linebacker Corey Nelson, who came and picked up the disappointed Running Back, who was still wearing the same clothes he had worn during his participation in the combine, and took him home.
From there things went quiet for Muema. Until yesterday.
Muema took to unraveling a long string of tweets directed at people who questioned his faith, including this amazing example, “Trust I’m not scared! The guy who hit me with a bat got killed by shotgun, his Lil brother hit by train & sister died in car accident!” I think I got that chain letter once back in the 90s.
But the best was saved for his prediction of the future, in which he stated, “I Don’t believe there would be a Football season next yr! Unless we’re going to a new planet Earth!” For a league that worried Michael Sam would be a distraction for his bravery as the first openly gay player, how do you think they will react to Muema and his craziness?
Sorry kid, but you’re not going to be drafted in the NFL. Maybe Jesus has an opening for a Running Back.
(Author’s note: As I was writing this, Muema tweeted a follow up to his world ending prediction. He said, “Not even the Son knows when the world will end! I said many people are about to die!” This has gone from funny to sad. Maybe it’s all a cry for help.)