relationship-vanessa-main Food For Thought

Attain, Maintain and Sustain A Healthy Relationship

“There are certain elements that build the foundation.” ~ Love Finally Found

First of all, ensure you are in a healthy state of mind when seeking a relationship; there is no sense trying to “find” someone when you yourself are lost. Fall in love with yourself first!

Getting To Know You!

Learn to appreciate, honour and respect yourself, while understanding that you are deserving of happiness, goodness and love. Take time doing things you enjoy, read, write, mediate, take up yoga, try a new hobby, be creative, get to know yourself, so when you meet someone, you are confident in who you are and what you want. Once you learn to be comfortable with being on your own, you can then begin to allow opportunities of meeting that special someone to open. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. With this being said, don’t go on the hunt for someone; there is someone out there already waiting for you, and when the Universe is ready, it will align. Give yourself permission to be picky, but not too picky–does it really matter if the sleeves on his dress shirt are too short? Just don’t go out with anyone just to be in a relationship; this happens all too often. People become miserable and unhappy but it would appear that they would rather misery then being single. This is a mistake. Be realistic.

Realistic Expectations?

Setting high expectations of someone (even yourself) is a recipe for disaster and disappointment. Having no expectations means no disappointments. Be open and don’t have a “type.” Don’t disregard someone because they aren’t your “type.” It takes time for someone to show their true colours and could end up being exactly what you’re looking for. Drop the high maintenance act. It may work for awhile but it will get tiresome soon enough; some people just can’t keep up with the demands. Don’t be a bitch. Beauty is skin deep; if you’re ugly on the inside, it doesn’t matter how beautiful you are on the outside. Don’t be an asshole. It may be tolerable at first, but it gets old fast. Don’t be controlling. It’s a selfish, insecure and immature act. If you find you are controlling, you have issues to work out. Learn when to give someone space. If someone needs time to cool off, respect their wish. Once you meet someone you’re interested in, just relax, enjoy, and let things flow. Don’t push things and remember everything happens with time. I know people who have given their partners ultimatums: Give me a ring or I’m out the door. If you can leave someone you “love” because of a diamond, clearly you’re not in love.

Building Your Foundation:

There are certain elements that build the foundation of a happy and healthy relationship: Trust, Respect, Communication & Loyalty. Those are the four walls; if you’re missing one, the structure can’t stand. Between those walls is the insulation. This consists of the little things that make a relationship work; remember it’s the littlest things that make the biggest impact. A relationship is not 50/50, it’s 100/100. If you do not put in effort, your partner will become exhausted and burn out. You must take responsibility.

  • Flirt with your partner, forever. It keeps things exciting and fun.
  • Give compliments, always. Leave love notes, plan surprise dates, send sexy messages.
  • Don’t be afraid to be hurt. Sometimes we need to get hurt in order to grow.

These are important things to do and continue to do if you want to keep things fresh and alive. If we try to resist the natural flow of life then we fail to learn life lessons that can help us prepare for future situations. You should never settle for anything less than you deserve.

Experience Matters!

I’ve been in many relationships that I knew weren’t right. However, I believe every relationship we enter is the right one at the right time, regardless if it feels wrong. They teach us lessons, some good, some bad. Hopefully they teach us to have higher standards, morals, and values and prepares us for the good solid relationship that is bound to happen if you truly believe it will. After years of unhappiness and engaging in relationships that caused me anxiety, stress and heartache, I finally found the perfect man for my imperfect self. As cliché as it sounds, find someone whom completes you. Someone who is supportive of your dreams, your goals and your success. Anyone who tries to bring you down shouldn’t be around.

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