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Ian Sirota exposes himself for our Proust Questionnaire

Way back at the end of the 19th century, a young novelist by the name of Marcel Proust answered some questions for his friend Antoinette (daughter of future French President Félix Faure). Thanks to his responses, we now have the famous Proust Questionnaire. If you subscribe to the cultural catalyst which is Vanity Fair, then you are no doubt familiar with this questionnaire and the political figures, actors and cultural celebrities they feature.

Our victim.. ahem… interviewee is funnyman Ian Sirota. Ian is a two time Gemini nominee (including best comedy performance) and a regular cast member and writer for Comedy Inc., Comedy Now and Gutterball Alley to name a few. Ian is a consistent headliner at Comedy clubs across Canada, opening for Dennis Miller, Robin Williams and Dana Carvey along the way. He’s a witty, sharp tongued improv specialist and is more than happy to show off his sarcastic skills for our amusement (as you’ll see below).


Crazy Indulgences & The subtle art of playing 20 questions with a comedian


Today Ian will fill us in on his clear admiration of teachers, fear of 80’s icons, and crazy indulgences.

Without further ado, I give you the Proust questionnaire by Ian Sirota himself:

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

If I knew I wouldn’t be a comedian.

2. What is your greatest fear?

John Cusack makes a comeback.

3. What historical figure do you most identify with?

The Earl of Sandwich.

4. What living person do you most admire?

Donald Trump’s hairdresser.

5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?


6. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

(see question 5).

7. What is your greatest extravagance?

I don’t want to brag but I just bought a new hamper from Target…on clearance.

8. On what occasion do you lie?

Funerals and Bar Mitzvahs.

9. What do you dislike most about your appearance?

My hairline is going all Pauline Marois on the rest of my Canadian head.

10. When and where were you happiest?

Hey lay off with the happy thing. Truth is when my daughter was born. Stock but true.


Beware of teachers & comics without any possessions

11. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

I would like my gigantic penis to be smaller.

12. If you could change one thing about your family what would it be?

Their genetics.

13. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Filling out this questionnaire but the day is young.

14. If you died and came back as a person or thing what do you think it would it be?

I got a question for you did you smoke a jay before you started writing out these questions?*

15. What is your most treasured possession?

I’m a comic I don’t have possessions.

16. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

How many times can I answer that question?  I’ve been on the road a long time.

17. Who are your heroes in real life?

Teachers. It’s the hardest job you can do for 6 months out of a year not including statutory holidays, P.A. days and cough, cough I can’t bank sick days so I’m not coming in today.

18. Who are your heroes of fiction?

Politicians that make a difference… you said fiction right?

19. What is it that you most dislike?

The Boston Bruins.

Guilty Breasts, McDonalds and Montreal Madness

20. How would you like to die?

In a tsunami of breasts.

21. What word or phrase do you most overuse?

Guilty your honour.

22. My first time performing was…

The Comedyworks in Montreal, never mind what year.

23. My last time performing was…

When my 5 year old asked why McDonald’s is closed on a Saturday.

24. Other comics think I’m…

Too sexy for my shirt.

25.  What are your favourite qualities in a man?

Men can laugh at themselves. We bust balls. Our insensitivity can be a bonus sometimes. Also driving. If you’re a guy that can’t drive, you’re not a real guy to me.

26. What are your favourite qualities in a woman?

Women have so many great qualities I don’t know where to start. Can you tell I’m married and I have learned not to answer these kind of questions? My real answer is “sass”. I love a woman who can stand up for herself and that’s how I’m raising my daughter.

27. Where would you like to live?

Savannah, Georgia or Decarie Hot Dog in Montreal.

28. What is your motto?

It’s not the prize it’s the journey. Thank you fortune cookie for giving me an excuse.


Check out his act here:

Catch him live:

  • May 2 Brampton Hockey fundraiser
    May 14 Spirits
    May 15-17 Ajax
    May 23 Port Perry
    June 13-14 Hamilton

For more info visit

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  • I can’t take credit for these questions,… as to whether  the late 19th century elite were “puffing the magic dragon” in unsubstantiated. The current writer has no comment.