cooking_trueblue_magazine Cuisine

It’s Time To Get Cooking


So, you’ve been on a few dates with the nice looking gal who works at the corner coffee shop by your place and have discovered she just might be all that and a bag of chips.

She laughs at your jokes – most of them anyway – and has just as many moments of awkwardness as you do while sitting next to each other in the view of others. She likes most of the same music as you and you really dig her ability to make a flannel shirt look damn good. You’ve been able to talk to her truthfully about every topic introduced and she has no problems stating her opinions about anything. She likes sports as much as you and you both share an interest in reading everything ever penned by Kerouac, Ginsberg and Burroughs. Young man, you have yourself a keeper.

Sadly in this time period, relationships really don’t seem to be based on compatibility, honesty, and comfort as much as they once were. They seem to be a little more rooted in the wealth and glamour which is easily compared to having the ability to brag to friends.

“He bought me an entire new wardrobe because he is taking me to Cayo Espanto in Belize next week because he loved what I did with his bathroom! All I did was fill his shelves with perfumes, soaps, lotions and oils. I wonder where he’ll take me if I redo the entire bedroom?” said the female who may care a little too much for his monetary worth than him.

But as most of us know, not all relationships are about jetting off to far-away islands and showering somebody with gifts. There are things which can be given much easier than trips to tropical paradises. And these things can be done in our own homes. Assuming you’re not a caveman and have the tiniest bit of knowledge about a kitchen.

The first dish which should be prepared is oysters.  Serve them raw. Feed yourselves and feed each other. Use your hands. Let the oyster dribble and ooze between your fingers. From the sucking of oyster out its shell to the texture of the meat itself, eating these sea-salted treats demand us to think of something else we could be doing, something we should be doing, with each other beside eating food. No, it is not playing Xbox.

After the oysters are finished, introduce a tray of Chile peppers. Yes, they will be hot. They will be spicier than the pit of the Devil’s stomach. And they might make you sweat. They will prompt your brain to release all the wonderful endorphin magic to incite pleasure in your bodies. But there is something else you hope to make you and your lady hot, sweaty and ravished with those same endorphins. Something the two of you might be doing after the food is gone.

To tame the fires burning in your mouths, consume a plump apricot or svelte avocado to ease the pain. Beside the delicious, water-filled-flesh, they will incite your imagination of other things. With the plump, smooth flesh of these items, you will notice both edibles resemble certain areas of the human anatomy and will force both parties to imagine these areas in their minds and really get the motor running.

Though we won’t be fighting or watching anything to do with vampires on this homemade dinner date, you must be sure to have something which includes the natural Viagra, garlic. Maybe you have a special sauce given to you from your grandmother’s recipe book you use when cooking pasta. Maybe you buy the cheapest on the shelf. Either way, it matters none. Just be sure to add a bulb or three of garlic before serving. Garlic increases the nitric oxide in the male body which makes the blood flow more swiftly. Swifter flowing blood will increase the size of…well, you get the point.

And finally, before you go and get yourself carried away with the evening, be sure to have the chocolate ready. Not chocolate bars with caramel and nuts, just plain old chocolate. Beside being sweet and tasty, it will also make your body produce and secret endorphins much like the Chiles will. A double dose of sexy endorphins can’t hurt anything, can they?

Now, if you’ve properly prepared the above mentioned items and they were consumed by both parties involved with the feast, you will not be sitting at the table drinking the after-dinner coffee for much longer. That is, if you’re still there and not turning the heat up in another room already.


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