That Guy Who Banged a Hot Pocket
In a story that sounds more at home in a standup bit by Jim Gaffigan; a teen has recently gained internet notoriety as ‘that guy who banged a hot pocket.’ Twitter user @VERSACEPOPTARTS, who’s selfie looks like the unholy daemon spawn that would result in a mixture of Justin Bieber and Shia Labeouf’s sperm and an egg from a Amanda Bynes, tweeted that if he got 420 retweets (I wonder why he picked that number), he would “fuck a hotpocket on vine.”
No one should be surprised by what happened next. After performing the blasphemous union with said hot pocket, and posting the resulting video to vine and twitter, @VERSACEPOPTARTS was banned from both social media services and, in an example of adding insult to injury, blocked by his ho’s pimp, @hotpockets. In an interview with firstwefeast.com, @Versacepoptarts admitted that he’s, “not going to school now or any shit,” and his goal in the entire incident was to, “fuck around and see what happens.”
No word on if he’s signed a sponsorship deal with Pop Tarts.