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The City Vs. The Country: 5 Similar Differences

“Growing up country and good manners seem to go hand-in-hand.” ~ Country Girl Trying The City On

Smack Dab!

It’s been about four years since I moved from the quaint countryside to the big roaring city, and I have yet to find my niche…

Growing up in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere (and I mean this quite literally – a hamlet of 700 people to be exact) and then moving to a city of half a million people is overwhelming, to say the least. But while searching for some shred of familiarity within this Gotham prison, I’ve learned that there are just some things that will forever be a ‘city thang.’

The Rant…

Here are 5 of the Top Differences I discovered between growing up Country, and/or living in the City:

1.) People are less likely to say ‘Hello’ or bid you ‘Good Morning’

I don’t know why, but growing up country and good manners seem to go hand-in-hand. I find that city people lack the ability to be polite to one another. To this day, if I say ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’ to a stranger on the street, I receive the most annoyed and offended look from that person. Their thoughts are written all over their face: “What the fuck is wrong with you? Don’t talk to me.” Needless to say, I just don’t talk to anyone, ever.

2.) What’s the Rush?

Seriously! What it is about people always being in a rush in the City? Everyday people are always in a mad panic to get where they’re going, which has led me to the conclusion: city people can’t tell time. Obviously everyone is always running late. I even find myself rushing around, speed-walking down sidewalks, kind of like a real-life Frogger game. Anyway, point is: just slow the hell down. You’re making me nervous.

3.) ‘Hoochie Mama’ Stores

Fashion takes on a whole new meaning in the City. I remember the first night I went out to a bar downtown. I wore a nice pair of jeans, some heels and a sparkly top. Then I get to the bar and see girls wearing dresses so short their snappers are exposed, and boobs – my god – boobs everywhere. I immediately thought to myself, “am I….am I in a Strip Club?” But now, as I’m out shopping I see that there are actual stores that cater to these hooker-fashion lovers! You want a shirt that barely covers your nipples? Or how about a pair of jeans with the butt ripped out? I can hook you up.

4.) ‘Smoke Bums’

This is one of my biggest pet peeves of the City – people who ‘bum smokes.’ Every single god-damned day! At first, I was more than happy to help my fellow man get their nicotine fix, but then it became an hourly occurrence. They are like a bunch of seagulls fighting over a french fry. It has pissed me off so much that now when they ask me I burst into a rant about why I won’t. “Look man, I work too damn hard to just give away my smokes and no, offering me a dollar isn’t going to change that. Maybe if you saved all your dollars, you’d be able to buy a pack for yourself. Or, for the amount of time you spend during the day bumming smokes, you could get a job and work the same amount of time and cut a pay cheque for yourself, to buy your own smokes. Or better yet, quit!”

5.) ‘Country’ Bars that play everything but country music

Why, oh why do the self proclaimed ‘country bars’ play everything BUT country music? Within my first year in the City I invited my cousin to come down and head out to the one and only country bar I could find in the city. When we arrive we hear this god awful rave music playing and I asked the bartender, “This is a country bar, right?” to which she responded, “uh-yeah, but I actually don’t know any country music. We have a lap top back here if you want to put some country music on?” Obviously, we did. On another occasion, some friends and I headed to another country bar we had located across town, and walked in to hear a live band playing reggae – wtf? I give up. I get it – not everyone likes country music, but if your bar name has the words: “country,” “saloon,” “outback” or “horse” in it, you’d better be playing country music. That’s all I’m sayin’.

End of (this) rant.

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